The Low Down

Since you are reading this blog, that probably means that I have told you directly about it. Welcome. :)
So, here's what this is about. The very first week in April of 2013, I decided that I would no longer be a smoker. I turned 31 years old in December and I am morbidly obese and I just really felt like I needed to take a good, long hard look at my priorities and get them in order. I am a mother. Every single time I lit up, I was SHOWING my daughter that it is OK to smoke. REALLY?! Really! If you know me at all, you know that my ENTIRE LIFE is my beautiful daughter. WHY IN THE WORLD would I show her and teach her that it is OK to do something that will kill her? Because I am stupid, that is why! SO, I decided to not be stupid anymore.

I said to myself, I wonder if I can....quit smoking. I decided, and I have to pause here to look up the date, Ok, Friday, April 5th, 2013, I woke up and decided it would be a smoke free day! I asked my husband and my daughter to please be forgiving of me as I made this change in my life. I assumed, and I was correct, that I would not be the most pleasant person to be around. I used smoking as my stress reliever. I used smoking as my was to pull myself back together. (Doesn't that just SOUND ignorant)?! SHEESH! I prayed and prayed and prayed for God to help me make this change. I knew that there was absolutely no way that I could do this alone. I also told myself that the devil would, without a shadow of a doubt show his ugly face in this journey and I asked God to stand with me because we all know that we can't face the devil alone and be successful. BOY WAS I RIGHT! UGH!

Day 1 and Day 2: I was SO irritable. I was SO moody. I was SO unpleasant. (sorry)
Day 3: Not too bad. Honestly thought, this is WAY too easy.
Day 4: My 8 yr old daughter's, My daughter's name is Bayleigh if you happen to not already know and my husband is Larry. There, that will make writing easier. Anyways, day 4, her dog got sick.
Day 5: THE DOG DIED! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! My first thought was that I can't believe the devil would tempt me so early on. Thanks for killing my kid's dog--JERK! Ok, Ok, Ok, the dog ended up getting Parvo, but I am still blaming the devil.
Day 6 and On: I knew that once I survived days 4 and 5 without cheating at all, that I was doing very well and that my simple question of I wonder if I can was turning into, WOW, I can't believe I am!

Here it is day number... I don't really know because it's been so long at this point, I consider myself a nonsmoker, but if you really want to do the math--today is May 31st, 2013, and I am still going strong.

The key element of my quitting came though with simply walking out my cravings. Crazy? Well, I think not. A big reason I didn't quit sooner was everyone told how they gain weight when they quit. Well, I don't have room to gain weight. I am HUGE already. So, when I would crave, I would go hop on the treadmill and just walk until the craving had gone. It worked! I mean, why not? I didn't want to gain so why not exercise it out. Since I was so successful so quickly with quitting, I was on the treadmill and I was feeling really proud, not gonna lie, and here comes the I wonder if I can....RUN?! I DID! I COULD! WHAT?! I KNOW!

THEN, came the, I wonder if I can...lose weight?! Well, now this is where the problems are coming in. :(

There was no way I was going to diet or try to lose weight and quit smoking at the same time. I know me. That would be me setting myself up for failure. One thing at a time is how I am, but now I was ready. :)
Since deciding to do this, I would walk nightly and even during the day when I got the chance on the treadmill and to be honest, I was doing great. I would add running into my routine, which I still, even to this day, can't believe I am doing...not doing well, but regardless, I am doing it. SO, here comes another journey!

I am going to stop there for now. This blog is ultimately going to be my weight loss journal. It is for me. It is not a tool for anyone to judge me or make fun of me or even to be competitive with me. This is for me and only me. I ask this, if you wish to follow this blog please do so by respecting my wishes. Please, don't be negative...as I am sure you will figure out in time, I am negative enough for all of us. I need support. I need to be held accountable for myself so this is what I am using this blog for. My next entry, that I know will post above this, will be the start of this journey. Check back very soon!
Jennifer